Internal Groove

Hello my beloved friends, family, fans, and clients -

You have all been so generous with your birthday wishes, Facebook posts and voicemail songs in celebration of my birthday. It has meant a lot to me to return home from our vacation to all this good mojo. This really is what birthdays are about. Because so many of you have asked how my birthday was or have sent lovely cards and sentiments, I wanted to say thank you. I’ve decided to respond in a group note in an effort to answer that question once and maybe even use this story as an opportunity to shift some perspective for both myself and others. Will try not to be maudlin, but intend to truly celebrate my birthday and the precious gifts of life and love with this note.

My birthday was a huge gift for many reasons.

I got to learn that in a terrible emergency…

Consider this: to fulfill your potential and enjoy fulfilling work inside of a rich, full life, you must take at least some risks. And while security may appear to be the absence of change, long periods without change and risk are even scarier.

I find the Universe has a funny way of delivering a kick in the butt if it’s time for us to step forward, stretch or make a change. And if we resist that change or taking a risk, a kick in the butt can even show up as a two by four if we’re not paying attention.

Ever hear of someone getting laid off or fired when they had long since outgrown the job and knew they were overdue to move on?

Ask people why they’re stressed at work, and they’re likely to say that it’s somebody else’s fault, looming deadlines, too much work, too little staff and more difficult work situations than they can explain. I know, you have a pain in the neck boss and more cranky clients than you can count. While these can certainly add to a bad day, they’re not really the actual cause of our stress. Stay with me here.

In fact, we cause our own stress. Yep. It’s true. We create tremendous internal pressure and anxiety with bad habits all by ourselves. Consider the habits listed below. Then ask yourself what ideas you have to turn around that habit that doesn’t serve you. I’ve added a few suggestions here.

Ever considered the hidden gifts that risk can provide? Most risks fall into at least one of these three categories:

Self-Improvement Risks

These are the risks you take when you want to get ahead, learn something new or make a distant dream a reality. You take on the venture with hopes of enriching your life and advancing your career. Maybe you want to change careers, develop your skills or improve something that was identified on a performance review. On one side of the risk is the person you are or maybe even just the perception of who you are today and, on the other, the person you want to become. Imagine where this kind of risk can take you? Even better, think back and look for a risk you took in the past that delivered rockstar results. How did you make that happen and what were the benefits?

I have a tool to suggest. I call it the “Complete Yes.” And you can use this as a filter with everything you do in your life and work. So if it’s not a “complete yes”, it’s a NO. When we tell ourselves the truth about what isn’t a complete yes, decision-making about your commitments becomes very easy.

A complete yes has no story behind it. No intellectualizing. No guilt . No agony. No inner rumblings. No yeah, buts. No doing it to please others. No doing it to look good or be liked. No inner critic tapping on our shoulder. It’s just YES. Period. And if it’s not that, completely, it’s a NO.

And the easiest way to say no is with the fewest number of words. As soon as you start talking too much, those who request things of us start finding holes in our story. A professional, polite no sounds something like this: