Career Advice VIDEOS / Self-Management

Building Your Self Confidence with the Observer Self

Building Your Self Confidence with the Observer Self

Are you interested in building your self confidence? If so, it’s important to have as many tools as possible to facilitate the process. In this video clip, I’ll introduce one of the most versatile and effective tools for self-empowerment.

If you are a human and you are reading this, you must be interested in building your self confidence.

You’re lucky to have stumbled upon this page. You’re about to learn of a fabulous tool for self-empowerment. And it doesn’t require you to buy anything, or go anywhere. It’s a tool you can use anytime and anywhere.

The tool I speak of is what I call the observer self.

The observer self is the part of you that is an OBJECTIVE observer.

Objectivity is key here, because when you are building your self-confidence, being judgmental is counter-productive.

Making judgments can also prevent you from getting to the root of the issue.

A good analogy for the observer self is an honest reporter or sleuth who diligently seeks clues about a certain incident or topic.

They ask questions that allow them to gather the information they are after, and they have no personal opinion about what they find.

Their motivation is simply curiosity— a desire to know the truth.

Can you imagine yourself as a reporter gathering information about your behavior, and saying “Hmmmm, that’s interesting,” instead of “Hey, why did I do that stupid thing” when you find a juicy tidbit?

This is how the observer self operates.

It’s best to stick to what or how questions when you engage your observer self, because why questions sound too much like a judgmental or punitive parent, and this can shut down the curious mind.

Here’s an example of a time when the observer self can provide some insight:

Imagine you are excited to go to an event or workshop. You have been anticipating it for weeks. But when you get there, all you want to do is sit on the sidelines, not participate, and scroll through your social media feeds the whole time.

The observer self notices this and starts asking questions from a place of curiosity rather than judgment.

Some questions the observer self might ask in this situation are:

  • What happened on the day of the workshop that made me not want to participate?
  • How was I feeling while the workshop was taking place?
  • What caused me to feel uninterested or inhibited?
  • How might I have behaved differently?
  • What would have made me want to behave differently?

These questions should not be asked with disdain or disappointment.

This is not about being critical.

It’s about truly understanding the inner mechanics of your behavior.

Utilizing the observer self is a good way to learn constructive and productive ways of interacting with your significant other, your boss, or other family members and people in your life who trigger you.

As you get more acquainted with your observer self it will become more readily available to you, like a helpful, trusted friend. You will become more and more adept at implementing it while attending to your daily activities.

You will start to get insights. You’ll start to notice patterns in your behavior.

You may even discover that you’ve been making assumptions about the motivations behind your actions that are not even true.

This can be a strong catalyst for making positive changes in your behavior and building your self confidence.



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And if you know a friend or neighbor who could use hearing the advice in this article or needs The Job I Love Toolkit, please forward this to them.