How do you gear up for a new project or task that you aren’t particularly looking forward to? Sometimes we learn ways of motivating ourselves when we’re young that aren’t ideal as we get older. In this nugget, I’ll help you determine if your motivational m.o. could use a little tweaking.
What is your motivational m.o.?
Do you beat yourself up with negative self talk in order to snap into gear when you’re feeling unmotivated?
Many of us learn to feel guilt and shame when we are children. And sometimes, we carry those feelings into adulthood and use them as tools to motivate ourselves. (Keep in mind, this is not a call for blaming our parents or ourselves).
While using guilt and shame may actually work at getting us to do the things we need to do, it’s certainly not the most optimal (or mentally healthy) way to get ourselves into our internal groove.
If you have noticed a propensity to verbally beat yourself up as a means of self-motivation, I would like to recommend that you make an effort to discover some new, more constructive ways of getting the job done.
Life is no fun when you are living with an inner tyrant!
And if you realize that you have been doing this, what you don’t want to do is start shaming yourself for doing it. This would just be another blow to your self-worth.
Start by simply observing that you are using these feelings as motivational tools.
Remember, you developed this m.o. as a child, before you had the ability to evaluate how healthy, ideal or rational it was.
Now, you can begin a more humane self-improvement and motivational process.
Pay attention in your everyday life to other, more positive, ways you can motivate yourself. This will require self-reflection and non-judgmental observation.
The idea is to discover new ways to motivate yourself that actually feel good.
Become aware of times when you are feeling excited or looking forward to something. Notice the things that make you feel happy or hopeful. Is there a way to use them as motivational tools? Is there something you can offer yourself as a treat? Is there an activity you can do that feels positive and fulfilling?
Be compassionate and gentle with yourself as you develop and implement your new motivational m.o.
It will be a worthwhile process that will free up the energy you were using to beat yourself up. Gift yourself with a more harmonious and satisfying experience of life!
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