Career Advice AUDIO / Self-Management

The “S” word…

The S Word - Stop Shoulding on Yourself

If you’re feeling stuck or uninspired, chances are you are perpetuating the feeling with your language. Being aware of this one simple word (and why not to use it) can help get you unstuck and moving in the right direction.


It is a normal part of the human condition to have days where we feel low, uninspired, or unmotivated.

When we find ourselves having days like this, we sometimes have a tendency to attribute the feeling to a lack of self-worth.

We make ourselves feel worse when we imagine all the things that are wrong with our current state of mind.

I believe that every situation holds within it an opportunity for growth.

Having days like this is no exception.

It is actually an opportunity for developing healthy habits, patterns and practices, and effective self-management.

There is a simple way to move toward the opportunity side of having a bad day:

Don’t “should” on yourself.

When you find yourself in a low state of mind, imagining all the things you should be doing, remember this important self-management tool, and stop shoulding on yourself. (Shouldn’ts count too, by the way)

Speak to yourself from the perspective of an older, wiser you.

Imagine how you would speak to a child who is feeling down, and practice that on yourself.

Or imagine how someone who loves you would speak to you if they were with you right now.

Instead of beating yourself up for not being a perfect person who feels great all the time, do something nice.

Go for a walk.

Take a bath.

See an uplifting movie on cable or a musical online.

Or have lunch or coffee with a good friend on FaceTime or Zoom. (Yes, it’s fun, even from your own homes!)

Not shoulding on yourself is a way of trusting the order of the universe.

Creative people are sometimes faced with days where it seems their creativity has left the building.

This is not a permanent situation.

Your motivation will return.

You will be inspired again.

This is not, by any means, an indicator of your self worth. It is simply part of the cycle of life.

Be kind to yourself.



If you have specific work challenges in this unusual time, questions about options for navigating something you’ve not encountered before or simply need a shoulder for some extra support, I am here for you so please consider booking a private phone consultation. And yes, this is on me to support your ease and good health.

Also, if you haven’t already, please follow me on Facebook @BarbBachGarrison and @InternalGroove plus Instagram @internalgroove where I’m posting different types of daily support, uplifting content and suggestions to help you during this time.