Do you have self-doubts that cause you to constantly second guess yourself? If so, here’s a pragmatic perspective that will help you understand where this is coming from so you can start to change it.
In my years as a coach, I have discovered that most people are operating with certain habits, patterns, and practices they developed in order to get love and acceptance as children.
And because these habits were developed at such a young age, they often go unexamined.
It is a very useful self-management practice to identify these behaviors so we can start to replace them with behaviors that are more effective and appropriate.
The benefits of taking an inventory like this is that it saves us a lot of inner turmoil, and it makes our lives run more smoothly in all areas.
In order to do this, we have to acknowledge and honor where the behaviors came from and why they were created, because the child that developed the behaviors still exists inside us.
I call it our “little one.”
Often, we try to deny or push these things away because they are frustrating to us. But that makes our little one feel even more insecure, which usually causes an intensification of the behavior.
So when you find yourself dealing with a behavior that regularly trips you up, such as self doubt, try an approach of compassion rather than ridicule.
After all, the root of the issue is in the emotional body of a child between the ages of 6 and 8.
(This is something that has been determined in psychological studies. Children develop what has been called “survival mechanisms” during this time.)
So, take a moment to acknowledge that the challenging behavior is coming from a child who is simply trying to gain love and approval.
Talk to your inner child, your little one.
Offer her the love and reassurance she is seeking by letting her know that there is nothing to worry about and that she is seen and heard, loved and safe, and that you are going to take good care of her.
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And if you know a friend or neighbor who could use hearing the advice in this article or needs The Job I Love Toolkit, please forward this to them.