How are your self-advocacy skills? Have you sustained a blow to your self-esteem that amped up your self-criticism? There is a simple question you can ask to bring yourself out of self-doubt and into self-empowerment.
Self-advocacy skills are essential if you want to be genuinely successful.
Because success is about more than how much you have in your bank account or how much you earn.
It’s about how you feel about yourself.
The most potent place to practice self-advocacy skills is in your head.
If you judge yourself harshly when challenges arise in your life or career, you could use a crash course in self-advocacy.
The idea is to be an encouraging presence for yourself rather than a voice of self-criticism.
The next time you are feeling blue or down on yourself for any reason, ask yourself this question:
What are the facts of this situation?
Let’s use the example of someone who has been laid off or furloughed from a job.
In this case, the facts might be that the company’s revenue was down, and they needed to eliminate 20% of their workforce to stay afloat.
That’s it.
Most people do not stop with the facts.
They go on to assign more profound meaning to what has just occurred.
They make up stories about why they were in the 20% that lost their jobs.
Maybe it was because of the clothes they wore, something they shared with a co-worker or the time they had to miss work to take their child to the doctor. The list could go on and on.
The point to remember is this: These are just stories. They are not facts.
Making up stories to explain a challenging circumstance is what I refer to as creativity overused.
Creative people with vivid imaginations often engage in such disempowering mind activity in the face of unexpected or unpleasant difficulties.
And in most cases, the stories they make up are entirely untrue.
If you recognize these patterns of thinking in yourself, remember this simple question the next time you notice yourself making up stories and assigning meanings that diminish your self-esteem and stoke your self-criticism.
What are the facts?
Instead of beating yourself up, see the situation as an invitation to practice self-advocacy.
Speak to yourself with gentleness.
Redirect your creative efforts toward self-empowering self-talk. Attend the things you care about.
Focus on what is important to you.
Make a list of the situation’s benefits.
Be kind to yourself.
Is your work situation frustrating you? Do you hate your job, but have no idea what to do instead? Attempting to navigate those waters without support is not fun (yes, I do know, but that’s another story). I’m excited to announce that I’ve created The Job I Love Toolkit, with all the resources you’ll need to finally clarify how to get paid to do you.TM To be the first to hear more details, join the VIP Wait List.
And if you know a friend or neighbor who could use hearing the advice in this article or needs The Job I Love Toolkit, please forward this to them.
